no sails to remove the wind from

well now those were interesting emails and i thank you for your honesty-but then againy ou were amost,dare i say, over honest in your mails-i remember it been kinda hard to get your true feekings out in the open over stuff-but like you said its been 8 months. well what can i say you know im leaving here in 3 weeks and that i dont even have 2 pennys to rub together cause im saving for a week in malysia before starting work in cork-but ireland will only be a summer afair and ill most likely be back here by september. this trip to malysia is to a place called kota kinablu in sabia. all i know about it is that the company who i may do my underwater camera work with are based there, its beautiful and hopefully cheap-iam yet to book tickets etc but will soon as im leaving in 3 weeks. i was for a while thinking about heading to north thai land to meet up-but ive only got a week and to be frank -im still digesting your last to emails so its hard to know what to say-it dose look good on paper-it would be nice to see you (etc!!!) but why now-and for fucks sake you just arrived so i know your a bit scared and lonely but its one of these things that youve got to do yourself-i know you can do it.

in your email you said stuff like we only live once-is it better to regret something you

have done rather that something you have not done etc etc. well maybe you have blissfully forgoten all those issues that went on between us for the guts of a year before i left but i have not- so what im trying to say (i think) is that there is only 1 shot at this life and i took it when i booked my ticket here. that day the world took on a brighter shine-and those 6 months of living in a girlfriendless house full of empty memories-as well as an unrewarding collage course, little cash,disapearing furniture and a job in a video stop vanished -it became a distant memory. lots of stuff became distant memories when i left and thats good-to think about the nice bits------okokok ok im waffeling now. and im still noy sure what i want to say. im happy your on your travels at last-and im really chuffed that your want to see me so much but why why why??? if you have an idea of what will happen when we see each other again and the fact that we both have plans for the future.ohoooo my head is confuddeled and im going to have a beer and hopefully when i email you next time ill have a more composed corrispondance. go kitten and have a ball, your back in paradice finially after 3 years so stop frettin and smell the air and smile at everything. sorry again for not really answering your question-but i dont understand the reasons for asking