12 september 2004 by yahoo

On this day I emailed myself all my yahoo.com.au contacst to my brand spanking new gmail account, I do believe a Mr Dylan Collins invited me, I had to get away from the spam -AK2012

simon harper simonak@gmail.com	9/12/04
to tash, thomas, tilde, Tim, veola, will, ymy, nicole, Norabeth, owen, Paschal, ralph, ronan, rosin, Ross, scott, Sean, seann, shara, simon, simon, simone, siofra, judy2, justine

akakakakakakakakakakakakakakak

akakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakak
    NEW ADDRESS akakakakakakakakakaka
aakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakvvakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakak

28th july 04 i met a new friend

we met on the aaran islands and she came home to callan with me-pacshal and the crew did not really like her when they saw her but i was growing fond-she was actually called william and she lived in my arm on my bicept muscle-she had a little head, and 8 little legs, a a big sucker and a big fat ass full of my blood-but alas after swooning about with magnifing glasses we had to get her drunk on snapps and pull her out with twezzers-i let her go in the yard so she can find a better host than me to live off-and here i am alone and smiling again. good bye william the tick-

11 Sep 04 the aeroplane is my friend

hello to all

ive spent the last week or two trying to book a flight back to austrailia-mainly online but trying a few shops and phoning places looking for the best deal-its hard to get excited by looking for flights-it just was so boring trawling through site after site-lots of great deals that had catches and for a ticket to a place i was not 100% sure i wanted to return to-it was a possibility for a while that i could have got some tv work in ireland and at one stage i was all set to settle down for a while somewhere-and after returning in june it was so good to see all my mates and meet new ones too-so no wonder trying to booking flight was so unstimulating.

then the other day i had to go to london to sort some stuff out-which only took 20 mins so then i got to hang about all day with my stuff-trying not to spend money-i buzzed about the place on the tube, it was sunny, there were lots of hot english ladys about, i bought a book and some thai noodles but still even though london was not overly familiar to me and a new place i was still the same as ever-not excited by the change, not smiling with the fun of been somewhere different-i was sort of worried about traveling-maybe its taken its course and im ready to do the 12 month lease and job thing again-get some career and long term girlfriend under my belt (pardon the pun)-my head was not good-

but later that evening it all changed-as i walked through heathrow up to my bording gate-i looked through the glass and saw something that made me smile-a big fuck off white and blue boing 747-400-with ground crew tending her gentley with feul and baggage and ready cooked meals for us-when i saw the craft,i always liked planes-i lived a year in dublins flight path-and used to sit out in the garden with a spliff watching the flying machines circling overhead-and again in cairns-on the clear calm days the monsters would fly over so low and loud it was like you could reach up and stroke their silver bellys as they flew over-anyway this aerodynamic tube thing with wings was going to take me somewhere different i then understood what all the ticket searching was for, what the work to earn the cash for the ticket was for, and then it started-the nice feeling that even though i was gonna be 20 hours inside the beaut-together with my single serving friends-i would get of on the otherside of the world-in a different place-with different stuff and different people. i just got into sydney city center 20 mins ago-the sky is blue and i doubt a jack hammer could get the smile of my face.i kinda know where im staying tonight-but exactly what ill be at next week or where ill be is another thing-and that is another reason for my smile.

please people let me know what your at?where your at?and where/what youll be at in 6 months time?

and for anyone who has moved about this wonderful place on planes-raise your glasses to the crew and the people who make it possible to wake up from a shity sleep in a tiny chair that youve been in for 10 hours in another country.

for anybody in syd or melb still im at 0431 686622

i better go sleep for a while.

 

some other things-

korea airports and good

i managed to spill beer-water-yogurt on my little table-shirt-croch-legs on 3 seperate ocasions on the last leg of this flight

the duty free in seoul is called ak duty free

 

good bye and xxx to you alll

akakakakakakakak

krk

we have sound now

kota kinabalu june 2004

too much whiskey the night before-flight to singapore ok-hung around with a german and an english lady for the evening, missed bus out of stupidness to johor in the morning so got a taxi instead- flew to kinabalu and here i am-met 3 dublin ladys and drank lots again last night-one knows friends from lahinch. nice place but not very paradicey-but there are lots of islands off the coast that seem a mystery cause no one wants to talk about them???? but of to see a dive contact and see what happens. would lave to stay and write more but must go exploring- mail ye all soon and akakakak

right -since im probably gonne be seeing everyone in a few days im not going into the details-koyo kinabalu is brilliant etc etc

but ill beback next tuesday and shall be about the town -hopefully for a bit a alfresco drinking somewhere in town-man do i need a pint, anyway will you all please mail me your mobile numbers as it might be a while before i can track down my mobile-and ill give you a call some time-to all the cork heads -ill be down for the weekend and shall be starting work on sunday-joy.

it beter be fuckin sunny and hot there or ill go mental.

akakak and see you all tuesday-

hey jojo

so sory about the last crap email but i actually thought it was from someone else called jo (another sweedish girl i worked with in the woolshit) and when i saw that it was johana rotten i realised my mistake...

anyway im havin a good time besides that im back bye myself-and since im leaving so soon i could not be bothered talking to new people, so ill go down by the sea and have a beer and some cheap ciggeretts and be moppy. to be honest kota kinabalu is a bit of a crap city, but i have been in worse-its got some good diving and its really chep-there is all sorts of cool stuff to do around the place but it all takes a few days, so ive no time. im starting work next weekend back in ireland, making tv programs aroung the country-its for 8 weeks then i recon ill go back to ozz-before the winter comes.

which city do you live in? im still hinking of going over to see some friends in sweeden-probably just for a weekend-ill have to see how the money goes over the summer.

ok pretty sweedish lady-im off for my depressed evening beer then home to hastel and bed early so i can get up and dive all day tomorrow in blue seas under hot sun....

pus pus pus-akakak and woooop wooooop wooooop simon

hoo arrr me hartys-pieces of eight-mell ye all im up north here-in kota kinabalu-bit of a bolixy city-but ive been in much worse-any way got here with high hopes of 6 days diving but met 3 dublin ladys during my second pint after arriving-and been hanging around with them-especially the ultra pretty one - i think shes probably the prettyst girl ive ever kissed- and whats great about here is that a plush hotel is still cheaper than a bag off cairns weed.....

but they have just left bound for melbourne and now im moppy and alone and not in the mood for starting conversations all over again with strange backpackers-but anyway

today i did my 1 st dive-its cheap and fun-wee boats spped you out to the near by islands, they have "house" coral formations just off the beach and a nice current so you see lots-unfortunatly they were into catching fish with dinamite until quite recirntly so lots of it is been distroyed-however the basket coral is making a comeback and it looks suspisciously like someone dropped a few thousand baskets over the rubbel-not much big stuff but guide showed me shit loads of tinnie wennnie lobsters and shrimp-cuttel fish eggs that look like condoms full cum and marbels-a dead reef cat shark(???) a couple of lion fish, cow fish and scorpion fish bla bla bla bla- they dont do confined water training instead the bring theopen waters into the crystal blue shallown and away they go-so i went for a wee snarkel (just call me irish simon) about the bay after my dives and saw more stuff-its good fun divin in the shallows over sand-had great fun chasing this fat bastard crab across the sand with a stick-then it rained that nippel hardening rain-hich looked really amazing from underneath and the sun was also shining- back tomorrow for another few dives- been asking about the dive camera stuff-the guys seem nice but i have been otherwise occupied to properly met up with man-found out i can do my dm here in 2 months-with lots of diving-hmmmm ponder ponder.

no doubt it all be good

bye for now and akakak

exactly like the begining of four weddings and a funeral-woke up 40 mins late for my dive and pegged it down the road to the boat-missed it, so here i am gammy eyed and thirsty at a coin operated computer. fuck.

i slept in for many reasons- at about 3 am one of my 2 new room mates came in with lights blazing-then a few hours later the next one came back-he was very considerate to not put on the light, instaed trampeled abou the room like a elephant-speaking of elephants-i remember from a sleepy wake up when it was getting bright seeing his sleeping form accross from me gripping his morning wood-yick.

and whats nearly more scary for me but youll probably be drooling is that the hostel was over run by some type of milatry convention-i swear that there were hundrends of them all in uniform chattering away, then they started emerging from rooms wearing only towels and heading for the showers-god it was freaky brushing my teeth but i survived unviolated.

but probably the cause for my lie in was that some sort of creature from star ship troopers was flying about the room last night eating me alive-so i woke up itching my itches-had to appy cream and than mosquito lotion for the first time in 6 months.it was all the rain you see.

so after i saw you guys off i headed to do some emails-i was not in the mood for saying much so i decided to head back to the kiwi drink place for a beer-but it was tooo sad so instead i decided to have a beer in the place where it all began and we all 1st met-jusus the place was jamming and as i sat for ages in the same stool waiting for my change-i was feeling pretty depressed and i shit you not gloria gainer singing i will survive came on-that cheered me up until the bastard dj played bon jovi and phill collins in a row-sick bastard. so i had my pint quickly, chain smoked a few ciggys and left the shamrock possibly never to return....

then i got home-realised id roylaly fucked up and cringed my self to sleep.

oh its like a email that works backwards- like momento

well i suppose ye all be melbourned now-is it cold as a witches tit or just like another dublin? either way im sure you will have a great time-andf itll warm up eventualy-ive runout a coins so bye for now-will mail soon and xxx

lots of aks

shit,

went out with the 2 roomies last night, buckets of beers for hours-went to the club again, it was jammers this time-fell in to bed at 4, had in my drunken state packet my day bag-had money camera etc all ready-put on my bord shorts so i couls just wake up and go to the boat-did everything in my drunken state apart from turning on my fuckin alarm-man i feel so special-so my last day in kk is spent emailing and been hungover.

any way the 2 chaps are owen and daren (or is that brian and derick??) canadian and english-both sound out and up for a larf. massive market today-head is full of poo and tummy is sick-chat you all soon and akakakak

joy-6 hours to kill and backpack and chain-yup flying back home tonight-be drinking cans tomorrw in the sun-lol-been havin a larf on okcupid but just joined myspace.com on the advice of some random sexy yank-ohoo i becoming a net nurd, a web monkey-but maybe ill actually meet a beautiful woman and we can have babys. just had aweek in malysian borneo-was ment to be checking out work but got pissed instead-met these 3dud ladys-oho man-it was one of those times where one is defo godess like compared to her matesd and she chose me!!-ha and you can get a posh hotel room for cheaper than a smell bnb at home. just bought myself a sniper esc 28-300 lens and x2 converter for about E360-he through in all sorts of straps-i was gonna go digital but thought id go oulskool and fuck the pixelated cunts-long live 35mm-enjoy the copenhag and akakakak

sydney june 2004

some decient music and some people to go out with and soem cash to spend-the venue: "Home"classy night club in posh docklands area of sydney where they search you with metal detectors and a bottle of beer casts $7--but a few pills took care of the expencive beer problem with a little help from jamson and redbull to really get the shits going-at none other than the supa sharp shoota himself was spinning away all his lovely d n b for all us chewing bibyiots. actualy i thought hype looked like a total skanger-but he put on a nice show even if the mc was a bit of pratt and kept interupting the good stuff. any way it was a all right lets do a half cause im working early-to just one more between us to beers at 4am while normal people larfed at us and purchases of weed and 3 hours sleep before facing the hard mean world-at least it was sunny-but where is all that money i took out of the atm last night??.

next week sweatfactory tour is coming to sydney-kicks of at 1 pm until late and snap, c&c mucic factory and the klf are playing all day in a ware house-the day before i leave but the tickets are pricy at about 70 euro-but the klf and think off all the ould summer o love heads who will get baby sitters and go relive the 90s-ohooooo

last bit of news for now and i m living with some reall life crack fiends-like i thought this guy was a jittery type of chap but hes actually on crack all day and he works all night-hahaha crack heads-brilliant,there is not much left for me to experience in this life after crack heads in my back garden.

xxx to you all and akakakakak

i met up with the chap down here for a few nights-also bumped into that colardo amanda lady who bar tended in the green ant-so we all hung about and dranked lots-last night we had lots of whiskey red bulls and dance d to mental drum n bass. he told me funny story about 461-including the gay guy who took over my room, smurf infactuation with the english lady in your old room and bestest of all: all sitting out on the balcony including dirk and his korean ladyfriend when who shows up a day early-anieta, dirks "other" girlfriend-korean girl did a runner and she was none the wiser until she discovered bag of photos and condoms in his room. oho i would have paid to have been there-maybe offer anieta a sholder to cry on (rebound off of)!!!

actualy i dident mind your sloppy seconds but dirks-euwuuuuuuuu

off home next week with 6 days diving in malysia on the way -yipeeeee

hy to all in south america and akakakak


---

so after a wee spliff in the park me and this girl amanda that i met in cairns went to check out the musium of contempoary art-which was nice, then we went for some munch and a beer-and who walks into the bar----Roar-hhahahaha we laughted so much-then proceded to get get ratarsed with 3 othewr dubs and fell asleep in someones house surrounded by beer bottles-then today i met up with a welsh girl-i havent seen her for years and she was a kid-now she is grown up and im a happy boy.so ive 3 days left here then its off diving.

and as for you-you sound like you need a hug-relationship still rollercoasting? damm girl i wish there was something i could say or do but alas im crap at the love stuff at the moment-part of me wants to go back to ould ways-either with alma or something similar with swhoever-not healthy-she even wanted us to meet up back where we 1 st got together-not a chance-but ill only be a few hundered kms away and she cannot get the hint and come find me-which is still good-god dammmit why cant be love just be easy and fun-instead of painfull and over taxing to keep going. your idea sounds good about getting some space-it rarely does any harm and absence makes the heart grow fonder (although best not to absent for too long)

anyway babs-nomatter what happens, there are many cute welsh girls in this world and they can bring hope into your life when you have given up-you gotta keep yourself healthy cause if the relationship breaks you - how are you expecting to hold it together when your broken-i hope im making sence-just know that im sending you all my love and strenght-itll all be good (and hopefully welsh for me!)

chat you soon exy- akakak

sydney end of may 2004

well i doubt ill get so much in to this one but sure ill try-and anyway ill be home in 3 weeks so ill have to save some news for you.well sydney is grand altogether-probably my favourite city but still only a city-people get sucked into their own thing and disapear evn though they only live 15 mins away.everyone is busy and has somewhere to go-but its full o bars and culture. veen doing some crewing work for concerts-simon the roadie and bits of tv work-i was doing cables on a shoot at a japanese corporate event which was mental-that olivia newton john slut who was in greese played and they all went mental-all these buisness men in tuxes kneeling down infront of the stage lusting after this reminant of the 70s singing greese lightning and summerlove-then this good beatles cover band came on and they all went crazy on the daqnce floor-kids and all-i was running after the camerman making sure no one bumped into him and that he had enough cable-i had to beet the fuckers of my cable so he could move about the place-and i got paid handsomely-so anyway ive got 2 weeks left here and im trying to sort out a weeks holiday in malysia before heading back to work in ireland-ill be doing the same roving the gaeltachts of ireland with tg4 which is cool cause i should have a few weekends off around clair and conemara so illk be doing some camping and looking for scandinavian beauties at the willy clancy etc.

alma finaly got outr of ireland and is currently back in thailand where we have our romantic roots-she wants me to meet up with her there but im prefiring my plan of heading to malysia-i dont think she got the hint about meeting up there but im not pushed about seeing here and im not going to press the issue. still at least shes off on her adventures and maybe itll sort out her messy head-

so "sexxxyy basstard" sam is sluttin it up with multi ladys-bless him cant wait to get down to thomastown for a weekend on the beer on hamilton island. and to see how alls changed in dublin-

well i better go check my adultfriendfinder.com website and see if there be wonderfull beauties waiting to hear from me.

thak careeyy thomas-enjoy the terrosim on the park and alkakakaka